Issues
by SarahZorEl
Summary: "I sent you away and now i have to watch the love of my life as he kisses his new wife and I can't Mon-El. I can't keep pretending like it doesn't hurt like hell when I continue to see the two of you together." -Correction of the 3x15 Training Room Argument, Were Kara shares just how difficult she's finding his return and their current love triangle.


**Okay so i was totally horrid to Mon-El but i don't mean it, that's just a reflection of Kara's hurtful headspace so i'm sorry hahaha.**

* * *

Kara dejectedly stood practicing her footwork- trying to distract herself from the guilt and confusion of getting physically angry with Mon-El earlier that afternoon, twirling her cape... head down all thoughts stopped when she heard the hum of his voice as he entered the training facility again "Footwork looks excellent"

At that she reluctantly turned- watching as he continued his way down the metal staircase.

Grimly Muttering a "Thanks"

Coming to a stop he gripped hold of the railing, one hand balanced on his hip. Kara purposefully stared in the opposite direction _unable to look at him,_ embarrassed and not at all ready to face the oncoming confrontation.

She winced slightly as he announced "You punched me"

Those words sat in the air between them like a cloud of destruction. Both hands perched on her own two hips, she tried to embody a facade of authority.

Failing to in-still herself with a sense of confidence just glad of _anything_ she could try to muster as she studied the concrete wall, head tilting up gathering her erratic thoughts. She wondered if the lead was thick enough to stop her from tunnelling her way out through the side of the building. _Here's hoping she was strong enough._

Honest and to the point "Yah..."

Glancing away, swallowing harshly Mon-El gazed to the floor. Serious and pensive uncomfortably he questioned "Didn't feel like part of the sparring, Can we talk about it?"

Babbling bouncing "No-" Eyes darting everywhere at once _flustered_ "-i'm i'm really sorry. I think it was M'yrnn's psychic episode." Head cocked crinkle forming and heavily embedded almost accusatory she realised "Why weren't you affected?"

Shrugging "Eh the legion ring acts as a shield."

Kara glanced up in a sort of crabby understanding- irked "huh" _just my luck_

Quipping Mon-El added "Another perk from the future"

Letting out a huffy hiss of breath and staring at the ground _again-_ the grey swirls were getting rather interesting. To be honestthe blonde just wanting to be swallowed whole. _At least that way i'll likely make it out **more** intact than if I stayed._

 _Especially if he starts talking about the darn future with Imra again._

His own brows creasing unconvinced at her sassy attitude "Are you sure thats all It was?"

High pitched and a total lie "Yeaa!" Blue hues connected hoping that it would be enough to get him to stop his inquisitive nature from figuring out _how bad everything really was._

Shaking his head guessing correctly "Nothing between us?"

Kara exasperated jumped on that a little too fast and letting out an awkward laugh, trying her best to be polite and keep him securely at arms length "Nooo"

Anxious her fake smile started falling as he continued on the path towards discovering the vulnerability she was really _trying to fucking hide_.

Now a little more animated he sounded _a lot_ more like the old Mon-el _in the way his sentences were forming_ "Because I thought we were in a good place... but if we need to stop we'll jus-"

Interrupting him peeved and needing him to _please just stop it_.

The style of his vocal pattern was _far_ too familiar for her to be hearing so suddenly- _she couldn't bear how adorable she found it o_ r how it made her wish for another chance to be with him like that again. Wanting to seriously put an _end to this conversation_ she tried to ease her way out of it nicely. Attempting to put his mind at rest holding _two palms up "_ Nooo it's fine this is... this is a good thing."

Mon-el huffed sensing her deflection on confronting any of their real issues, nose creasing into an accidental little snarl.

Kara started moving around looking for a distraction to _practice cape tricks instead of dealing with this_ "There are worldkillers out there we-" coming to a stop gesturing for him to get ready "Lets do this!"

He just observed her as she stood In a fighting stance.

Taking a deep breath Kara continued wishing deep down that _he would move already_ her eyes bobbing up trying to deter him and manoeuvre him away from such a sore suffocating topic.

"I'm Ready!"

* * *

 _10 minutes later..._

 _Kara_ was getting more and more frustrated- flinging her cape in fury, irritated and snappy.

Mon-El watching calmly from side on- walking forward _"_ Heyy we survived a black hole we can get through this together." _as soon as that had left his mouth he knew it was the wrong thing to say "C'mon try it again"_

Eyes rolling- giving him a snarky glare all she wanted to do was shout from the rooftops that the world wasn't as dandy as it seemed.

He may have survived that black hole but she could still feel it sucking every last hope from the empty chasm between her breastbone seemingly _at every cornerstone she turned._

She hated the fact that he was telling her what to do- inferring _how she should feel._

Sighing long-faced and annoyed she did it anyway sucking in every angst fuelled and hurtful thought and putting it straight into her movements. Flicking the red synthetic cape... her two feet were at odds with each other. Never getting it quite right- _pissed_ she slammed the thick fabric down again with even more fervour.

Mon-El now only trying to placate, enable her to do better _it was coming off a little belittling._

Mansplaining "you just missed the pivot."

 _She didn't need him to just stand there and tell her what she already knows!_ Inside she was raging.

Only trying to help "Keep your left foot pla-"

Having enough of him _getting in the way..._ suddenly infuriated at him always appearing at the worst possible moments, when all she wanted to do was move on and figure shit out frankly _she lost it._.. a wave of animosity and resentment covering her from head to toe coming out of thin air and from absolutely _nowhere._

 _"_ WILL- YOU- SHUT- UP!" Growling sneering at a shocked Daxamite. Hurling the truth at him blow after blow "Your right." Taking in quick heavy breaths "Your right... we have been through a lot together! Like that time I thought you were dead for seven months and I practically shut down- _shut_ _everyone out,_ only to find that you were _just fine._ and all cosied up with your new wife."

Mon-El's mouth bobbed not knowing what the hell to say.

Screaming she spiralled Flailing wildly "FOR SEVEN YEARS MON-EL! YOU GOT SEVEN YEARS!" gasping "I'd barely had time to mourn you but here you are running around- a Legionnaire... a fancy ship... a new life... _without me in it._ "

Peeved "Never _once_ thinking how much it might hurt me- to see you two together. I mean... _you kissed her_ right in front of me. When I spent all of that time in the med bay telling you that I'd missed you... caressing your face and thinking that we'd finally get to be together and you just went along with it-" shrugging "-then i asked you who she was and you didn't even have the gall to tell me. You waited until she woke up and jumped you _practically screwing each other_ for me to even find out that SHE WAS YOUR WIFE and that your married? and i get it... I know that's not your fault, you moved on... it's not her fault _or yours_ that i-" Garbled wavering.. stuttering "i still have feelings for you.. that i haven't moved on... so _easily._ "

Winding down, lip quivering "But RAO you could've tried to be a little more considerate... _I_ _don't even know what happened to you,_ you haven't really told me anything of what you've gone through."

Tears falling "It's like we're strangers your so _different._ I've spent all of this time trying to understand why you seemed so sad and _why you look at me **like that**." _Pointing

"AND _why you still wear the necklace_ when- when your with **Imra**!"

Completely Bewildered shaking her head "I MEAN even the ring... there's a comet I-"

Reddened orbs lured to the shiny object until they snapped up on his forceful breath "I hear you I get it."

That made her worse only stoking the fire within "No I don't think you do get it. I GAVE MY HEART TO A LYING JACKASS! -and you don't stop, you say you've learned how to be a hero, that your this 'reformed' person and I'm so proud... really I'm so proud at the man you've become because your great Mon-El but you keep lying to me about what your doing, where your going, Legion business... your so quiet all of the time and it scares me because-"

Trembling "You keep everything in and I'm trying to be your friend I really am but I can't help but pine after the level of communication, understanding _and love_ we used to have!"

Grimacing finally admitting "This year I don't think you realise how hard its been- not just with _reign_ but loosing you, romanticising you. All of those nightmares, dreaming of you and Krypton and then _PSI_ she uh... I was having-... _panic attacks,_ she made me see Kryptons destruction but not just that... she made me realise that-that ah that my biggest fear was loosing you and that's all came true _all of it._.. because even with you here I don't get to be with you. I ahh i miss- yyouu and I was the one who pushed that button... I was the one that made you leave."

Spluttering heaving sobs breaking down "So It's my fault. Everyone leaves... I- Why does everyone have to leave?!"

Choked up swiftly moving some errand wisps from a joyless and torn up face Kara was still feeling restless- which is when Alex decided to interrupt. Sternly "KARA! Put this on!" Holding out a glowing object within her right hand.

Pausing, quivering the Kryptonian looked between them both, ultimately deciding to stride away grabbing the headset as tears ran the length of Mon-Els puffed up cheeks and striking jaw. Wetting his beard and falling onto the front of his newly renewed red suit. Looking to the ceiling he twisted the poignant legion ring that lay weighted on his finger- as he _regretted everything._

He'd gotten so used to hiding his feelings, for what he'd witnessed in the future _as a Legionnaire_ and also _his continued love of Kara_ from Imra. He'd forgotten to stop and _that he wasn't like that **before.**_ He hadn't thought of how the change in his demeanour and of his need for secrecy might only further Kara's disillusionment- _confuse her, affect her._

How was he to tell her the reason for still wearing the necklace- _of placing a comet on the_ Legion ring, that it was just his way of remembering her?

That it was because _he'd never stopped loving her_ and that looking down- on a hard waring day when the blight was at the height of it's destruction it was the only thing that'd ever soothe his heart and make him feel even a little bit better. Made the horrors he'd witnessed that day somewhat okay.

He wanted so bad to just run after Kara- to hold her, to apologise and to make everything right and to tell her that he understood because _he'd gone through it too._

But he couldn't.

It would't be fair to touch her nor to tell her of that- all because _he was still with Imra and it sliced through him like a sharpened knife._

 _Fin._


End file.
